Sonic Humor!
by Final Hedgehog Kingdom
Summary: Sonic doesn't know what's best for him when he opens his big mouth...
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Sonic characters.

_**Sonic Jokes!**_

Sonic was running freely in a green forest. He saw Tails, and he stopped. He felt very humoristic today, so he decided to throw a pun on his friend.

"Hey, Tails, how's your little 'tale'?" Sonic said and started laughing hard. Tails scratched his tilted head in confusion. Sonic didn't get enough out of this one joke, so he decided to go make jokes about his other friends.

Sonic continued along the road and met up with Amy Rose. Sonic couldn't resist:

"Hey, Amy! What are you 'aiming' for?"

He slapped his leg and started laughing like a hillbilly. Amy's confusion turned into fury. She took out her Piko-Piko hammer and hit Sonic in the head with it yelling:

"Sonic, how dare you make fun of your own girlfriend?"

Sonic ran away with some bruises. He continued on the same road and ran into Blaze the Cat. Sonic thought that Blaze would have a little more sense of humor than Amy.

"Hey, Blaze! Are you 'in flames' today?" Sonic smirked, fell on the ground and started beating it with his hands.

Blaze turned into a fiery whirlwind and barbequed some hedgehog!

Next Sonic met Big.

"Whassup, Big the Fat! Are ya havin' 'big' time?"

Big stomped on the blue blur.

Sonic was hardly standing now. He saw Knuckles standing on the road and Sonic stopped by just to tease his friend.

"Hey, dude. Guess what: you don't have any fingers or ears!"

Sonic laughed like a nerd until his nose started to bleed. Knuckles gave him a good punch that made him fly far away.

"Dang! He's right!" Knuckles cursed looking at his hands. Patrick Star patted Knuckles in the back and said:

"I know how you feel, buddy."

This time the blue hedgehog found Shadow sitting alone, listening to a CD-player. Sonic went beside him and poked him on the side.

"Who's being emo?" he smiled rising his eyebrows annoyingly. Shadow hid his Fall Out Boy CDs and replied.

"I'm just cool. I even got my own game."

"Yeah… which sucks!" Sonic snickered and laughed literally his kidney out.

Shadow took a gun and shot Sonic in the head.

All that was left of Sonic met up with Cream the Rabbit.

"Hey, Cream, would you like yourself 'whipped'?" Sonic asked and started laughing like a monkey this time.

Cream called Vector who came by and beat up Sonic.

Only Sonic's bones were all that was left of him now.

"What the heck is wrong with everybody today? Only good thing happened today is that, at least Tails didn't do anything bad to me".

Just then Sonic saw Tails's Tornado right about to crash into him.

"I hate my life," Sonic said.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Sonic- characters.

* * *

_**Sonic Jokes part 2**_

Sonic had somehow recovered from the last time he had told jokes about his friends. Now he was ready to continue, because he was too stupid to know when to stop. He ran into Chip.

"Whoa, Chip! You're not underground anymore! Did you get bored being a 'lowlife'?" Sonic laughed.

"Zip it, Sonic, or I chop you" Chip said.

"Chill out, dude! How'bout some chips?" Sonic continued. Chip used his godly powers on Sonic.

Next Sonic found Espio.

"Hey, Espio. Are you feeling a bit 'empty'?" Sonic chuckled. He got a ninja-star in his head.

Now it was time for Cosmo to get mocked.

"Hey, Cosmo! You're a double rip-off! Your design is from Pokemon, Kirlia, and your name is from Fairly Odd Parents!"

Cosmo started to cry. Tails walked by and beat up Sonic.

Sonic still didn't give up the jokes. He met up with Vector.

"What's up, Vector? Hey, what kind of mile is the dumbest mile? CROCOMILE!" Sonic cracked up at his own joke. "Oh, you probably didn't get that one, because you're do dumb you wear earphones even though you don't even have any ears!"

Vector ate Sonic and spat him out.

Sonic now wanted to make joke out of his old pal Dr. Eggman.

"Hey Egghead, who's defeated you for over 15 years in a row? What kind of genius can fail that many times? Who the heck checked your IQ? Knuckles or Big... or perhaps Cheese?"

"Blast you, Hedgehog! It's not my fault that the creators always make me lose! But now it's time to tell you the truth: I am your real father!"

"OH NOOOO!" Sonic yelled. "I always believed in the Archie comics!"

Finally Sonic ran to Vanilla the Rabbit. He was feeling a little dizzy so his speech was hardly understandable.

"Hey ya rabiz are rely dumb y'know," he said. "Yar daghtar dates a fox, and ya dates a croc. They both eats rabiz, y'know."

"Umm, Mr. Sonic, you forgot to put pants on again!" Vanilla said.

"WHAT? Oh God damn it! Not again!" Sonic panicked and hid behind a tree.

"Idiot" Vanilla muttered.


	3. Chapter 3

**Part 3**

Sonic had once again recovered somehow. He speeded through the forest without worries. Soon, though, he stopped on his tracks as if he'd seen a stop sign. The blue blur looked around skeptically.

"I smell trouble," he though aloud. He looked at the sky and saw Dr. Eggman's flying fortress floating above sinisterly. Our hero didn't waste time standing on the spot, but jumped fifty meters high and broke in through the bottom of the vehicle. Once inside, he immediately followed his instincts to find the maniac controlling the ship. He found the fat doctor soon. Robotnik seemed to be working on some kind of deadly-looking new invention that would run with the energy of a Chaos Emerald.

"I knew you were cooking up something, Eggman," Sonic said while his opponent still hadn't noticed him. "Well, while you're at it, I'll have mine sunny side up."

The surprised villain turned around and the blue hedgehog saw that he was wearing a pink apron. A sudden beep came from the oven and Eggman exclaimed.

"Damn you, hedgehog! My cookies are spoilt because of your interference."

"I forgive you," the noble hedgehog said, "I'm fine with just dinner. You can make some other dessert for me later. Cookies aren't my favorites anyway. A Chocolate cake after a couple chili dogs would please me, though."

Eggman was about to yell something infuriated, but the blue blur interrupted: "But seriously, you got your hands on a Chaos Emerald, and the first thing you do is use its powers to bake cookies? And even so, you failed."

"Leave my presence, you indolent fool!" commanded the doctor. "I have done nothing wrong yet, and you are taking advantage of my hospitality. I suggest you to leave within the next ten seconds, or I shall cook you up and use your spikes as toothpicks."

The threat sent shivers down Sonic's spine. Before dashing away he said:

"You win this time, but I will beat you once I get the chance."

"Outta here, punk, or there will be no need for a round two."

Sonic disappeared. Next time he would surely win. Or so he thought.

* * *

A few weeks later Sonic and Eggman had agreed to have a showdown. Both had come up with a challenge for the other. Sonic's challenge for his adversary was simple; the nefarious villain was tied to a chair, forced to listen a record full of Sonic's lame puns over the decades.

"No… anything else, please! I'm begging you! Noooooooooo!" the doctor wailed in agony. But what comforted him was that Sonic was experiencing an equal amount of pain; he was also tied to a chair, and he had to hear Cream on helium narrate a really lame yaoi fan fic starring him and Shadow.

"No, we can't kiss… Nooooooooooo! This is wrong on so many levels! We are freaking hedgehogs! And Cream, could you please not inhale anymore helium? My ears are bleeding."

In the end neither Eggman nor Sonic won. Therefore they agreed on a momentary truce. It was the best solution for both of them.


End file.
